“Be less capable, please”
These were the wise words from my great grandmother Ivy, to my mother many years ago, and this summer, from my mother to me. Truthfully, being ok with being ‘less capable’ has always been one of my greatest challenges This is especially the case when I’ve struggled to physically keep up with normal endeavours. When your mind is the same and racing forward, but the rest of you, whether it is a migraine attack or back pain, would just say ‘no’. It’s frustrating. Depressing. Often, debilitating.
Since 2015 however, I have finally managed a healthier life balance, consequently eradicating those chronic ailments. I said good bye to sciatica pain down to my toes and migraine attacks that would frequently land me in the hospital.
Recently I have been focusing on finally seeing the pertinence in my grandmother’s words and embracing change as an inevitable part of life’s process. It’s as Solomon ibn Gabirol once said, “Realising what is and what cannot be, and the consoling of what is not in our power to change”. Essentially, just let it go. Your worries, your fears, your concerns. Some days we all need to give ourself a little break.
To all the soon to be mothers, fathers and already parents: Everything you are feeling is normal. Give yourself permission to feel the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent. Allow yourself to be who you are and where you are then and there, and be kind to yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and take each day, each hour at a time. You are doing the best you can. Everything is temporary. Believe in your abilities. You are enough. You are strong.
… and remember, it is ok to be a little ‘less capable’ sometimes.